


Linguistical Misinterpretation

by kvaerx



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26726116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kvaerx/pseuds/kvaerx
Summary: Weekly 'let's discuss movies' night turns into a verbal game of charades.Alternatively, learning a language melts a brain and hilarity ensues.
Relationships: Cassandra Pentaghast/Male Trevelyan (background), Male Inquisitor/Cassandra Pentaghast (background)
Kudos: 2





	Linguistical Misinterpretation

**Author's Note:**

> Learning languages does melt your brain like this. At dinner I forgot the word for spoon and basically described it in a similar way to how it's described here. A whole bunch of hours later and here's the result.

“They threatened to carve open his skull with a-” Alexei broke off. “With a…” He tried again, this time punctuating the missing word with a sweeping motion of his fist across his chest. “A…” He looked down, wracking his brain for the right word. “A…”

“Is the word untranslatable?” Leliana asked.

“No,” Alexei answered. “It’s everywhere. It’s… I just can’t think of the word.”

Maxwell grinned. “How about you describe it for us? We can make guesses and you can tell us if we’re right or wrong.” He paused, cocking his head to the side. “That is… I assume you’ll recognize the word when you hear it?”

Alexei nodded and Maxwell clapped his hands together like an eager schoolboy. “Then describe away, my good man.” He leaned backward in his seat, using the motion to casually put his arm around Cassandra’s shoulders. She stiffened and glanced at him and then the others. Satisfied that they were all seemingly distracted, she relaxed against Maxwell.

“It’s like… a…” Alexei started. “Err. Scoopy scoopy?” He brought his head up and looked around the room. Leliana was biting back a smile while Josephine and Cullen were staring at him with somewhat confused expressions. On their couch, Maxwell was shaking with silent laughter while Cassandra looked thoughtful.

“A shovel?” she asked.

Maxwell shook even harder. Cassandra ducked away from his arm. Maxwell pressed a palm against his forehead and gasped for breath. His shoulders heaved as he tried to calm himself down.

“Is it some sort of weapon?” Cassandra asked. “Perhaps a halberd? No, too big. A khopesh?”

“No. Like a shovel, but smaller.” Alexei made another vague gesture, bringing his fist up to his mouth several times. “Scoopy scoopy.”

This set Maxwell off again, but this time he couldn’t keep his laughter silent. Cassandra frowned.

"For eating?” Alexei motioned again. “A soup device.”

“A spoon?” Cullen offered.

Alexei’s face lit up. “Yes! Exactly! Spoon. They threatened to scoop his brains out with a spoon.”

“Well, that’s settled,” Cullen said, and turned to Cassandra with a small smile on his lips. “’some sort of weapon’? What even is a khopesh? Honestly, Cassandra.”

“Ugh. Gun nut. Some of us don’t focus so narrowly. You need to branch out, Cullen.” Cassandra sighed. “The skull is a thick bone. Some sort of sharp weapon would be needed to break it. Besides, a gun didn’t fit the description given.”

Maxwell slipped from the couch and fell the floor.

“You’re impossible,” Josephine declared. “You’ve managed to top Antoine and Yvette for most foolish, childish…” Unable to find the words she wanted in Common and aware that they others weren’t listening, she slipped into Antivan, speaking so quickly that no one else could even hope to understand her. Alexei wrenched the notebook from his pocket, taking note of the sounds and syllables he managed to comprehend for later reference.

“Perhaps we should continue? Cullen, I believe it was your turn?” Leliana suggested. “Additionally, Cassandra, I would suggest helping Maxwell back up. Given how often he complains about the carpeting and his supposed dust allergies, his rolling around is likely to kill him.”

Without a glance in Leliana’s direction and without breaking away from her argument with Cullen, Cassandra reached down and grabbed Maxwell’s shoulder. There were tears running down his cheeks by the time she pulled him back onto the couch.

“Two minutes, Cullen,” Josephine said. “If you continues past that, I will feel no pity in tonight’s game.” Cullen looked at her and paled. Then, wisely, he changed the conversation to the movie that he had seen this week.

-

“They were really trying to cut through his skull with a spoon?” Cullen asked later.

“It was a threat, they didn’t actually do it, but yes.”

“How…?”

“I assume the spoon-”

“Scoopy scoopy,” Maxwell gasped. He sat up and tried to keep a straight face but devolved into laughter once more.

Alexei looked at him and sighed. He turned his attention back to Cullen. “I assume it would have been sharpened or the bone cut in some other way. I’m not sure. Maybe it’s something common in Tevene history or culture? But it might also have been something made up just for the movie.”

“It’s also possible you misunderstood the word,” Leliana put in. “You did say this movie was entirely in Tevene.”

“It’s not- You’re going to watch it,” Alexei said. “And you can tell me what you think.” He reached into his bag for his laptop.

“I don’t understand Tevene,” Leliana said. Cullen murmured his agreement with her words.

Alexei pulled up a document and dragged it to cover one half of the screen. “I have notes.”

Maxwell raised a hand. “That goes against the point of this. We’re all supposed to find something entertaining. So every moment of our lives isn’t just work.”

“I enjoy learning languages,” Alexei protested. “It’s like a puzzle. The actual work comes into play after I know them.” After navigating a complicated folder system across two hard drives, he found the video he wanted and put it on the other side of the screen.

Maxwell shook his head but said nothing more.

Alexei pointed out a line in the computer document to Leliana. “My translation will start here, I think.” He started the video. A man was bound with leather straps to a solid wooden chair. Another man faced him. Between them was a table lined with various implements of torture.

“‘Tell/speak imp. inf. to me’?” She asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

Alexei paused the video. “Yes, sorry. Some of that is grammar notes. I can explain each line individually if you want?

She shook her head. “It will be fine, I think.”

Alexei played the video again.

On the screen, the man barked his demand for information. The prisoner shook his head, teeth clenched firmly. The demand was repeated and again refused. The interrogator raised up various implements of torture and threatened the prisoner with them. All the while he asked for the information he wanted. With each refusal, he raised more and more brutal instruments. At last, he stepped back and reached into a pocket. He withdrew a spoon with a flourish and a twisted grin. His voice was entirely serious when he spoke.

Alexei had been unable to translate the line. In place of a cohesive sentence were the words ‘I dig/scoop/hollow, head (posses. you)’.

Alexei paused the video and pointed at the screen with a triumphant smile on his face. “See?” he asked. “Spoon.”

Leliana gave him a bemused smile. “I’m not entirely sure what to make of that.”

Cullen had even more confusion in the lines of his face. “What?” He looked as though he wanted to say something more, but he didn’t manage any other words.

The other three weren’t paying attention. Maxwell and Cassandra were sitting together on one of the couches and Josephine was scribbling notes on another.

The noise of her pen, quiet though it was, brought everyone back to themselves. The smiles slipped away from every face. They all were looking around at the others now, meeting each other’s gazes. It was late now and they all knew it. But no one wanted to be the first to suggest the ending of their companionable meeting. Tomorrow they were making the trip to Orlais to deal with the political unrest. Once there, no doubt, Josephine would increase the Inquisition’s reach and improve its foreign relations. Leliana would gather more secrets and expand her network of scouts. No one else would even remotely enjoy it. There was a bet running over who would have the worst time. Cassandra, Cullen, and Maxwell were leading.

At length, the companionable silence shifted into something more awkward. Eventually, they stood up and made their ways out the door.


End file.
